18 cruel truths about modern relationships

2020-09

1. Who cares least has all the power. Nobody wants to be “the most interested person” in the relationship.


2. Because we always want to show the other person how blasé we can be, psychological games like ‘Intentionally Taking Hours or Days to Respond to a Message’ are going to happen. They are not fun.


3. A person being detached because he has zero interest in you looks exactly like a person being detached because (s)he thinks you are incredible and is making a conscious effort to pretend (s)he doesn't care. Good luck trying to figure out who's who.


4. Telephone calls are a decaying art. Most likely, much of the communication in your relationship will happen through text, which is the most detached and impersonal form of interaction that exists. You can now create intimacy with the emoticon options.


5. Plans in advance are dead. People have options and last-minute updates on the location of their friends (or other potential romances) thanks to messages and social networks. If you are not the priority, you will hear a “Maybe” or “Let's see” as an answer to your invitation for going out and the decisive factor(s) will be whether the person received it or not a more fun/interesting offer than yours.


6. That someone who hurts you will not automatically have bad karma. At least not in the immediate future. I know it's not fair, but sometimes people cheat and cheat and go on happily while the person they leave behind is in scraps.


7. The only difference between your actions being considered romantic or scary is how attractive the other person finds you. And that's all.


8. “go out?” and "Shall we do some?" are vague phrases that probably mean "let's get together" - and while you probably hate getting one of these, they are the most common way to invite someone to spend time with you today, and apparently they are here to stay.


9. Some people just want to get you and if you're looking for more than sex, they will say “Hi, I think I'm the wrong person for you”. At least not before you had sex with them. While human decency is ideal, honesty is not mandatory.


10. The message you sent has arrived. If (s)he did not respond, you can be sure that it was not because of the malfunction of cell phone operators.


11. So many people are afraid of commitment and being serious with someone who continues an undefined relationship, who ends up confusing things and only works until it doesn't work anymore. I have said it several times, and I will say it again - "we are just friends" is to open the door to a betrayal that technically was not betrayal because, hey, you were not together.


12. Social media creates new temptations and opportunities to betray. Inbox messages and options for a subtle flirtation (eg, enjoying someone else's photo) are not an excuse or proof of betrayal, but they certainly increase the chances of this happening.


13. Social media can also create the illusion that you have options, which leads people to view Facebook as a menu of attractive people rather than a means of keeping in touch with friends and family.


14. You probably won't see much of someone's genuine, unfiltered personality until you are in a relationship. Usually people are afraid to show how they really are and seem too available, too anxious, too nerdy, too good, too safe, not funny enough, not pretty enough, not someone else enough to be welcomed.


15. Anyone you are romantically involved with, either you will be together forever, or you will end up at some point. And both are concepts that are equally scary.


16. When you are dating, instead of expressing how it feels directly to you, the person is more likely to post it on Facebook or Instagram status, a Tumblr-like photo of a sunset with a phrase or passage of music with someone else's words, and while you may not even mention h(er/is) name, it's clearly for you.


17. There are many people who have zero respect for your relationship and if they want the person you are with, they will have no qualms in trying to push the limits to win the victim.


18. If you get dumped, it's probably going to be pretty brutal. People can cut ties over the phone and avoid having to see the tears rolling down their face or end it all by message and avoid hearing the pain in their voice and their runny nose. Send a long text and voilá, the relationship is over. The easiest way is far from the most thoughtful.